Don't Quit When You Are Halfway There
Like the moon, we have phases –waxing and waning. We have moments of unlimited energy and periods of exhaustion. These normal periods of inertia provide the time needed for physical bodies to heal from the demands that may cause illness and injury, and when that happens, everyone has no trouble believing that part of the prescribed treatment is rest.
However, little thought is given to the other areas of our being that need the same kind of rest and rejuvenation. We are growing and being challenged every day in all areas of our life; mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual and yet in all areas but the physical, our strongest impulse is to quit. We see it all the time. It seems like it is much easier and more acceptable to be less accountable in these other areas, but when we quit, we cheat ourselves out of a greater, all-around, life experience. For example, our professional life suffers or our personal aspirations are given up which always leads to unhappiness.
In a way, though, that seems kind of backward. If we think about some of the grueling experiences we put our own bodies through, it would make more sense that we could achieve more in these other areas of life. Maybe the secret is to go past the point of being able to quit so that moving forward is not a decision, but a necessity.
If we could somehow hold ourselves accountable, like dangling in a tent halfway up the side of a cliff, in an emotional or mental capacity, would we start to see immeasurable growth in those areas also? Wouldn’t it be the same amount of effort to finish the climb then it would be to pack up the tent and make our way, slowly, back down the cliff emotionally or mentally speaking?
There is something else to consider as well, though; Why? Why do we give up and quit?
I had to give this question some serious thought when I was recently tempted to give up on some of my own goals. The biggest excuse was because I felt like the effort I was putting into it was draining me, but then I realized it wasn’t what I was doing that was draining me, because whenever we do what we are called to do –the things that naturally give us joy and a sense of fulfillment – it doesn’t drain us, it motivates us and gives us more reasons to live. I realized, instead, it was what I was exposing myself to while doing it.
We are creatures of ego needing to be validated in some way by our peers and when we are not, we start believing that we are undeserving, or unqualified, or (fill in your favorite reasons here). I noticed the more progress I made, the more negative feedback was becoming even though I wasn’t doing anything differently.
Now, I could have wasted a lot of time thinking about why this was happening, but my time was better spent thinking about what I could do to make myself feel good about my intended goals again.
In short, there were 5 important steps I needed to do to reverse my negative mindset.
Recognize when negative thoughts crept in.
Notice when others were becoming less supportive.
Take the steps necessary to rectify both of the above
Get comfortable with change.
And finally,
Make the resolve to rest instead of entertaining the notion of quitting.
The first of the 4 is the hardest step because not all of us are aware of the negative and dis-empowering thoughts we have each day.
The best way to notice these thoughts is by quieting the mind. To do this, we need to take the time in each day to sit and just watch our thoughts come and go. Find a relaxing place to rest and close your eyes and then just listen to your own thoughts or watch as images flit in and out of your consciousness (This may take some practice and should be in a well-rested state so that sleep does not occur.)
Once aware of these thoughts, replacing them with positive affirmations should be done on a daily basis. A routine of daily affirmations is a good practice to develop so that the mind becomes trained in thinking this way. It is easy to fall back into the old pattern of negative thinking without it.
The second step can be a little painful.
Oftentimes, we surround ourselves with people who are similar to us and don’t challenge us in ways that help us to grow. We are comfortable with feeling comfortable. But when we decide to make the attempt to grow in any area of our lives, we are no longer comfortable to those same people and they may unintentionally say or do things in an effort to stop our growth.
Just as we learn to become aware of our own self-limiting beliefs and work at changing them, we need to be able to recognize when others are projecting their fears onto us. We also need to be able to address issues with these individuals or be prepared to cut them from our lives. If not, the desire to quit and slide back into a pattern of comfort becomes harder to resist. This is when step 3 comes in.
Be prepared to leave people, old habits, and situations behind.
When noticing, on any level, that we are not getting the support we think we need, we should start looking for it elsewhere. The best way to stay motivated is to surround yourself with others who feel the same way and are more likely to give us the encouragement we need to continue.
This may need to be done several times because the more we grow, the less comfortable we become to others and becoming less comfortable to others leads to this; Number 4.
Become comfortable with change. We will need to change with each new level of growth. I recently read a single sentence that makes a lot of sense.
“…Whenever you feel fear about doing something that is the time to do it.”
I am recognizing that I accomplish so much when I push past the fear of doing something for the first time. I realize that whatever I want to accomplish doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be good. It just has to be done! Get it out of the way. I can always redo what I have done, but only if I have actually done it.
Finally, the more challenging our progression or forward movement is, the more our desire can be to quit. It never dawns on us that instead of thinking about quitting, we should allow ourselves a period of rest. I know that many times I have made the impulsive decision to quit something for one reason or another, only to regret that decision a short time later. In some of those situations, it wasn’t possible to take that decision back.
Since then, I’ve learned to put some distance between myself and what it was I wanted to quit and think about and, in some cases, discover the real reasons why I felt like quitting and to work through those issues or at the very least resolve to work through them.
Set a specific time aside to rest and reflect on your accomplishments and future goals so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. Rest before becoming fully exhausted to the point of wanting to quit, and during those intense moments when you are tempted to walk away, take a seat and a deep breath. Decide that what you really want is a period of rest before you make any decisions and then take the time you need to think things through. During that time, revisit what made you feel inspired about your goals in the first place without any outside interference or self-defeating thoughts.
Know that it will be a never-ending process -- rinse and repeat over and over again -- until you achieve your goal. Make all the necessary adjustments and march on because folding up the tent and descending without reaching the goal should never be an option.
Namasté
~Susan
©S. L. Davis; Reiki Healings by Susan
Hanging tent by Black Diamond. No copyright infringement intended.
