Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

What would it take for you to become immune to rejection, because in order for you to live the life you daydreamed about as a young child, that’s what needs to happen.

Nothing great will come to you otherwise.

Dreaming big dreams means you need to be able to feel the sting of rejection over and over again before you finally get that “Yes” at the end of the rainbow. You need to fall down a thousand times and stand up a thousand and one.

I just watched a small clip from [1]Matthew Hussey, a dating coach and public speaker, in which he tells a large group of women during one of his “How to Get the Guy” retreats that he was going to “…send them out to be rejected.” This statement made me laugh, but a bit later my mind toyed with the idea of how to get rejected in the most unforgettable ways just to be able to get over the fear of rejection completely; especially if you are like me and the fear of rejection is what keeps you from living in a way that makes your heart race; unwilling to put those tender aspects of yourself on the line. Now, in the video, Matthew is speaking in reference to his coaching program and book entitled “How to Get the Guy.” However, this can be applied to anything in life.

But, realistically, what is the difference if your head throbs and your heart explodes while thinking about doing something then what it does when you actually set about doing it? [2]Science says none. Our brains can’t tell the difference between imagination and real life scenarios.

Some long-held fears of mine about rejection and failure have recently been obliterated (for the most part) because of the measures I’ve taken not to overcome them but as a result of feeling trapped by the fear of them and no longer feeling like I was able to move forward without taking the action steps I feared doing.

Dreaming the dreams created feelings in me that produced sweaty palms, pounding heart, a roaring pressure and a rush of excitement to the head that wasn’t any different than the sweaty palms, pounding heart, roaring pressure and the rush of fear I felt when I actually did what I had imagined doing but was afraid to. The only difference was the self-talk after the original excitement I felt about doing that thing I imagined doing. The same self-talk that said it would cost too much, or was too much work, or my personal favorite “You aren’t good enough!” That inner critic that believed no-one else would think it was a good idea. You know the one I’m talking about. It shows up and produces all the excuses we would ever need to talk ourselves out of doing what it is we really want to do as soon as those physical sensations become too uncomfortable for us to bear.

When we decide to act upon our dreams and ignore the physical manifestations of fear, something incredible happens; the fear is replaced by the act of doing and all the thoughts associated with it. There is no time for fear only the forward motion that brings us closer to our dreams.

So the next time you dream of a dream that causes your heart to pound and your eyes to widen, remember that THAT is the sensation associated with doing, not one associated with the fear of doing. Feel the feelings and then ride that wave of emotion toward your dreams.

Namasté

~Susan