Lego My Blocks
On the final day of the Reiki sessions-Releasing blocks, I found that my focus was all over the place. After several attempts at steering the session back on course, I had no choice but to let go. When I finally did, three things became apparent to me.
I was trying to control the outcome
A very distinct pattern emerged
The session became a lesson
The Lesson:
I Am Not in Control
Sometimes we fly on auto-pilot in our attempt to make progress during a day filled with items on our to-do list. In the case of meditation, we may go through the motions as if it was some kind of chore. Admittedly, at first, thoughts of some of my other activities loomed to the surface as I recited my pre-meditation prayer. For me, this isn’t unusual. The remedy would be to visualize these thoughts (that couldn’t wait for a more appropriate time to show themselves) being herded into a large room with heavy, wooden doors five inches thick. Then I would slide huge, wooden slats across the doors locking the thoughts in. I would then turn and sit with my back up against the doors. The first time isn’t always enough. On occasion, a stray thought would slip between the cracks of the door or hide while the other thoughts were being led to the holding cell. At that time, I would slide the barrier back, open up the door and scoot the sneaky thought inside.
This time, however, it was much more difficult. I imagine I started to pay greater attention because the thoughts seemed deeper…and repetitive. My thoughts began to feel like a CD with tracks that my subconscious mind would let scan for a few seconds, but then jump to the next track. Every ritualistic move I tried to make was shut down.
I thought, perhaps, I was dealing with my own blocks and that maybe I should start with Chakra clearing. Seeing myself laying down on a table, I preceded to scan and attempt to feel the depth of the energy at the root chakra. Astral hands hung over the area of the lowest chakra. Any other time, I would be able to feel a strong pull of energy and heat begin to manifest, as well as a feeling of fullness in my real hands. Instead, I felt nothing. At that time, I could also see nothing; no haze of color…at least not red.
I slipped into a deep state of awareness where I know much was being said and was happening, but it was all just flashes, and momentary glimpses; clips of verbal exchange. Information was being given to me. Dropping any pretense of continuing with my group healing, I asked to be shown or told what it was I needed to know and like the contents of a thumb drive being loaded onto the drive of a computer, I could feel the energy or essence of the information entering my body. You don’t just hear or see information. Information resonates on every level even if you aren’t capable of detecting it with any of the normal five senses. A feeling of knowing flooded my body as the colors of the chakras popped behind my closed lids. However, these colors were not in order.
A Pattern Emerges
I saw flashes of pink mingled with green, and I knew that my heart chakra was being engaged. The heat could be felt within and around my chest, and for the first time in a very long time, I saw the flame that resides within and I heard, “Before you can balance you root chakra, you must heal the wounds of the heart”. I saw flashes of my recent past that were cringe-worthy and painful.
More vague messages followed, and then afterward more color. There was an alternating pattern that was starting to appear, but not in any direct fashion. As I was trying to make sense of what was happening, I saw a vivid image of Legos stacked randomly with colors that matched the chakras: Blue, green, red, yellow, green, red, indigo, orange…
The image of spontaneous release of muscles of the clients I’d worked on as a Massage Therapist sprung to mind, and I suddenly knew the message that the subconscious mind was trying to deliver. Just like cell memory in muscles, our chakras hold on to old pain, injury, and emotional trauma in the order in which it occurred, and will release it in the same order it happened starting with the most recent. By trying to control the flow and cleansing process of the chakras, I was actually hindering my own progress.
After making the connection and understanding the lesson, I “lego” of trying to control the order in which I saw and cleansed the chakras and instead allowed the color to dance to the beat of its own rhythm feeling with each color as if old layers of pain were being peeled back and discarded even as I felt a new sense of natural balance occurring within.
©S. L. Davis; Reiki Healings by Susan
